technique

Why Change Is So Damn Hard

When we want to make a change, we essentially want to ‘learn’ something. Learning is considered a “permanent change in behaviour which occurs as a function of experience.”   But there is a force working against us. Nope, not aliens. Nor Nazis. Nope, no Jedis here… In the human body there is a state called Homeostasis. In Greek, it literally means “Staying similar.” This mechanism is entirely devoted to keeping… Read More »Why Change Is So Damn Hard

Why Is Gratitude Such A Big Deal In The Self Help Realm?

When it comes to self development advice, we’re bombarded. One thread comments on the importance of setting actionable goals.  Another strand emphasises the role of visualisation and acting ‘as if.’  A third route professes the strength behind gratitude and just letting things naturally form in their own way: finding the opportunities and just saying Yes. Today I want to talk about gratitude. It’s a big deal in the self-development and… Read More »Why Is Gratitude Such A Big Deal In The Self Help Realm?
self care parenting discipline cat parents

How to Improve Your Life Without Self-Discipline

Ever heard of self-care described as self-parenting? It’s kind of true, isn’t it?   I don’t currently have children, but I have a husband and two cats. [Sometimes, they can feel like children.] And I work with under-19s in my dayjob, so I’m not entirely oblivious. And with my pets, I set boundaries and hold expectations. I am their main carer; thus, it is my duty to ensure their basic… Read More »How to Improve Your Life Without Self-Discipline
cat fear kitten perception mindset

How To Talk *With* Your Fear

As a fiction writer, conversations with parts-of-myself feel a little less woo and more common than perhaps most people might find. If writing our conversations between two characters for a scene is ‘normal’ then writing out from “future, confident me” to “current, worried me” really isn’t so much of a stretch.   I’ll begin with the cognitive side of the story. From the scientific side, journaling has a few benefits.… Read More »How To Talk *With* Your Fear