Back in September, my business coach Michelle asked me to define how I wanted to feel, how I want people to feel after working with me. We spoke for a while, I did some reflection, but the very first word I came up with on that call was “steadfast.” I wasn’t quite sure how I got there, but there was this very clear message in my mind that this is… Read More »Word for 2020 — Steadfast
Delilah Dawson, whom I follow on twitter, had a set of tweets back in 2018 about being okay with emotional triggers and the thoughts which often follow them. On Being Okay She commented that when she is close to burnout, and does something which triggers her (certainly for me, triggers occur when I feel afraid, I am mentally taken back to a past negative event or a genuine sense of… Read More »Being Damn Fine as a Work in Progress
As humans, we are somewhat separated from other animals by our ability to plan ahead, to use forward thinking. By the fact we understand the concept of the future. Yet, it’s something we don’t utilise enough. This is not a new idea. We worry, “what if X happens?” and “how will I make that work?” But one of the most useful tools I use is considering the me-of-the-future and how… Read More »Secret Weapon #3: Consider Future You
Like many driven reinventors, I can’t focus on just one goal for a year or two; each of my goals is a strand I don’t intend to ever ‘finish’ just something to keep levelling up.
Ever heard of self-care described as self-parenting? It’s kind of true, isn’t it? I don’t currently have children, but I have a husband and two cats. [Sometimes, they can feel like children.] And I work with under-19s in my dayjob, so I’m not entirely oblivious. And with my pets, I set boundaries and hold expectations. I am their main carer; thus, it is my duty to ensure their basic needs… Read More »How to Improve Your Life Without Self-Discipline
Last week I walked into the bathroom, with its mottled brown tiled floor, and my foot just walked into an empty pint glass. My husband had left it just inside the door; either from finishing a drink or putting a spider out: I never did ask him… But my foot nudged it, and it fell. Somehow, it managed to entirely shatter across the whole floor. I was instantly pulled back… Read More »Harness Your History: Broken Glass
So many reinventions are driven by a need for a fresh start, for being more adult, for a new, different, better self. But my proposition is that we keep our core style and then expand on it, instead of starting from scratch. Partly, this is because as a teenager / young adult I continually tried to make a brand new personality for myself, and it never stuck, never felt right,… Read More »Secret Weapon #1: Ready Your Armour
Last week, Smoke fell off the garden fence. As far as I can tell, having heard the scuffle and physically carried him inside, he fell on his leg/hip and was scratched in the face by the neighbour’s cat. Whether this was one of his balance mistakes or he had been cornered, we’ll likely never know. He limped around, yowling a bit, and was restless for a few hours after; unable… Read More »How to Learn from the Cat’s Mistakes
As a fiction writer, conversations with parts-of-myself feel a little less woo and more common than perhaps most people might find. If writing our conversations between two characters for a scene is ‘normal’ then writing out from “future, confident me” to “current, worried me” really isn’t so much of a stretch. I’ll begin with the cognitive side of the story. From the scientific side, journaling has a few benefits.… Read More »How To Talk *With* Your Fear
I used to make New Year’s Resolutions. Then I used to spend December reflecting and consolidating the year gone, ready to plan “thorough goals” for the new year. Then I stepped back, and chose a “Word for the Year” instead. Finally, I used a guiding word to ‘theme’ my goals for the year, broken into sections. But equally, I see all this “Forget the new year, it’s meaningless.” So I’m… Read More »Dealing with Criticisms: The New Year’s Resolution